Saturday, September 22, 2007

Baby Oil


My beautiful wife attributes her youthful visage to her daily moisturizing with baby oil. Actually, she uses the oil to remove her eye makeup. But she says the moisturizing effects have kept her enchanting windows-to-the-soul free from surrounding wrinkles.

Although I am ever grateful for her stunning beauty and the pleasure of drowning in the dark pools of her eyes every day, I can't help but wonder what is the true cost. Just how many babies do they have to squeeze to get one bottle of baby oil? I would think that we could come up with better uses for those babies. I just wanted to open a forum for discussion on this very important issue.

4 Helens agree.

leslie said...

you can even get beauty tips on the freshest hell? cool! i will have to give the baby oil a try.

does alice feel at all morally compromised to steal the youth of babies just for her own vain purposes?

i for one advocate the use of babies for such delicious products as sugar babies and babe ruths; if you want a healthier alternative, baby carrots.

if babies make such great oil maybe we could use them for fuel. then we wouldn't have to drill in alaska.

Henri said...

Baby oil only works for those who are cheap... How do you get the oil off your eyes or do you just have oily skin. I use the Mary Kay eye make up remover and it is wonderful. It removes your entire make up and moisturizes with leaving any extra residue.

I wish we could use babies as an alternate fuel source. But baby carrots are just cut down versions of large carrots. The shavings are in the bags of pre-sliced carrots. I looked up how they made baby carrots thinking they were grown to be smaller but alas they are regular sized sweet carrots chopped down.

If anyone wants a baby just send your spouse through a wood chipper until she is baby sized.

Zac said...

Babies are hard work. Why would anyone want one? The only good thing that comes out of babies is that they grow into free baby-sitters. So, if you want a baby, you should have two or more or it wont be worth it (a baby-sitter without a baby to watch is just a leech).

Zac said...

Oh, I also discovered another way to turn your spouse (or any adult, for that matter) into a baby: Submit them to watching a full season of Survivor and then deny them the finale.