Monday, October 15, 2007

Shock and Ah! How cute!

Alice says I sometimes say things just to shock people. Sometimes I think she is right. Other times I know she is. This is one of those latter times. But I'm going to go ahead with my attention whoring nonetheless.

Would eating your own boogers be considered breaking your fast?

This question was intensely debated by Joe, Brad and me through text messages yesterday. It being fast Sunday in our ward, food was on my mind and I thought I had found a clever loop hole. So I went to my trusted spiritual loutish advisory duo, Joe and Brad. Here's what they had to say:

Me: Does eating your own boogers break your fast?
Brad: Technically, I don't think so. Although I personally exclude them from my fasts. It all depends on how you phrase your opening prayer.
Joe: Only as much as swallowing your own spit.
Me: So that's a no, right?
Joe: Right. Just make sure you don't get caught. Then you would have other things to worry about.

So I got the green light from my brain trust. But I chickened out at the last minute. Don't get me wrong, I've nothing against digging for gold. In Portugal, where I served my mission, it was much less of a social taboo than it is here and I found it quite liberating. Although in public I'll usually just sneak a surface thumb scrape, not the full-bore index finger, just to make sure I don't have any danglies.

I just never got into the eating it part. Not even when I was little. But according to some doctors (OK, maybe just one), snacking on booger mcnuggets can be good for you. If I look exceptionally well fed and happy next fast Sunday, you'll know I no longer have a gag reflex.

7 Helens agree.

Zac said...

Why stop at boogers? You might as well add scabs, fingernails, dead skin around the fingernails, pus, and nose hair. For those of you hesitant to break social mores, try the jelly bellies that taste like boogers first. It will make for an easier transition to the real thing.

Zac said...

Oh, I forgot ear wax.

CWK1979 said...

Still planting words like bloody flags....

Designing Woman said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

leslie said...

she should really remove the gloves before she goes for the gold. we don't have all those nerves on the ends of our fingers for nothin'.

Taralyn said...

Zac's not joking. Just the other day, Cassie was being overly paranoid from her view of bott flies on utube that she thought a little pustule on skyler was a fly larva. After trying to convince her that we don't have to worry about those in the United States to no avail, I decided to squeeze it out to prove it. When the hardened puss was out, Zac took it from me and to prove that it was indeed just hardened puss, proceeded to eat it. Cassie was then convinced, but I'm not sure Skyler handled it as well.

leslie said...

wow. that takes things to a level i've never even considered. i mean i've always been willing to do things for money, but just to ensure the health and safety of a loved one? zac you are a bigger man than i am. or woman. whatever.