Spendin' Cheese

Alice is now employed by both the best AND second best employers in San Diego. Yesterday, her boss at ProFlowers called Alice into her office. She told Alice that HR had been reviewing her performance and her responsibilities. Alice thought she was in trouble. But they really wanted to give her a raise! Alice didn't even have to ask for a raise, they simply handed it to her of their own accord. And it was a sizable raise, too. Nearly 20% of her salary. After reviewing her original position description and comparing that to what she is actually responsible for, they felt she deserved the raise. I've never heard of a company doing that before. That's why I say ProFlowers is the second best employer in San Diego.

So who's the best employer? On Sunday, Alice was called to be the Young Women's President in our ward. Is it coincidental that the day after Alice was set apart as YW President, she got a pay raise? I don't think so. The Lord may not open up the tithing coffers, but he certainly was not going to let Alice go unrewarded for her diligence and willingness to serve.

And now the entire youth program is under our control (I am the YM President)! All the pieces are in place and my plans for raising up an army of cyborg youth is almost complete. If only my supplier in China would hurry up with those do-it-yourself cybernetic implant kits, the world would already be half mine.