What is it about that magical holiday concoction called eggnog that melts my brain into a similarly viscous, creamy puddle? It may be the recipe we use when we make it at home (one egg, one quart rum), but I doubt it. [Don't worry, Grandma. That was just a joke. We still keep the word of wisdom.] Even the store-bought variety with no alcohol turns me into a drooling infant, content and happy as long as I am able to suckle at the delicious teat of the holiday gods. Which begs raises the question, why do they not sell eggnog year round? Part of me is afraid of the answer. If they did sell it year round, would I be so enthralled by the sweet nectar? Or would it become banal like chocolate milk. Chocolate milk is good, but I don't go through withdrawal if I don't have it for a while. The same cannot be said for me with regards to eggnog, as can be witnessed every January when they pull my holiday beverage of choice off the shelves for another 10 months. Is part of the allure of the nog its exclusivity and rarity? I have a hunch that this may be the case. Our society is so inundated with affluence that the quest for ever more pleasurable experiences has rendered all but the most expensive and scarce products hardly worthy of a second glance. Do you remember the days when a Christmas orange was a rare and treasured present, brought from a far off land to the snowy winters of the north? I don't remember that. I have always been able to buy an orange pretty much whenever I wanted one. I can just drive around the block and pick up a whole crate for a few bucks. Big deal. Oranges, whoopee. When I eat an orange in December, I am certainly less happy than the child who received this winter gem in times of yore. But I am also less likely to die of scurvy.
'Merry Christmas, Timmy. I got you an orange so you won't die. Eat it slow, it's got to last you until March.'
In this day of on demand shopping and niche marketing made possible by the interwebs, you would think that somewhere there would be a dairy making eggnog all year round. But maybe I'll not go looking for that dairy. Perhaps eggnog tastes better when it only comes during Christmas.
A list of Corbin's favorite eggnogs, eggnog variations, and a few products that aren't on the market but should be, in no particular order:
1. Land'o'Lakes French Vanilla Eggnog
2. Hot Nog (microwave eggnog until hot, enjoy)
3. Chocolate eggnog
4. Orange Nog (add fresh squeezed juice, orange zest, or concentrate to eggnog or hot nog)
5. Eggnog waffles (replace milk with eggnog, or buy Williams-Sonoma mix)
6. Eggnog syrup (mix eggnog and sugar, simmer until reduced to syrup consistency)
7. Eggnog muffins (just discovered at Von's this morning)
8. Eggnog ice cream and milkshakes
9. Peppermint nog (I actually don't like this one, but some of you might want to try it: use a candy cane as a swizzle stick or sprinkle crushed candy cane on the nog)
10. Eggnog bath (trust me, your skin will never feel softer or more luxurious)
11. Eggnog toothpaste (I'm still looking for this one, but I'm sure I'd love it)
12. Eggnog gravy (basically eggnog syrup poured over mashed potatoes)
13. Eggnog gatorade (1. mix equal parts eggnog and gatorade, 2. sweat, 3. replenish bodily fluids with deliciousness)
14. Eggnog cheesecake
15. Eggnog deodorant
16. Eggnog flavored Doritos
17. Eggnog flavored pork rinds
Monday, December 10, 2007
Pure eggnoggery goodness
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13 Helens agree.
I agree. I simply can't get enough of it... and at only 650 calories per 8 ounce serving, how could I afford not to indulge?
I heartily agree with all but one phrase.
An eggnog story: my family gets the same egg nog every year -- Borden's brand, which comes in a tall can. Last year, my mother couldn't find it at any grocery store. She drove to specialty stores miles away. She looked for the brand on the internet to see if it was still made. Ultimately, she failed. We replaced the brand with another one, packaged in a cardboard milk carton. It was awful, and the holidays (both Thanksgiving and Christmas) were ruined. I'm not exaggerating.
Guess what? She found it this year. And bought many cans. :)
Thanks for the BTQ insight. I had no idea. I am glad I have such educated friends. You make me feel better about my friend choosing abilities.
egg nog is very expensive. anyways i had roasted chicken for lunch with french bread. it made a cold day good and it is well within the wow. i was tempted with some amp also but i refused and stuck with water.
I just spotted Pumpkin Eggnog at Ralph's (aka Kroger's)! I have to get me some of that!
I was really enjoying my eggnog this year, but after reading some of the items on your list, I might be done until next year....
Eggnog is nasty-ass
At the risk of starting a war of Prescriptive Grammarians, I am going to go out on a limb and declare that Corbin's statement does indeed "beg the question." If you maintain that begging the question is simply circular reasoning, and that the conclusion must be a component of the premise, then I think his statement is accurate. We can infer that Corbin's conclusion is that by selling eggnog year-round he will be happy all year, which is a component of his premise that eggnog makes him happy. Or, put another way, drinking eggnog makes him happy, and eggnog in stores year-round means he can always drink eggnog, therefore, eggnog year-round results in his eternal happiness, which, in my opinion is begging the question.
However, to quote Forrest Gump, "I am not a smart man," so I am hereby declaring that I am leaving room in my ego for you to prove that my assertions are inccorect. Notwithstanding, I am simultaneously arguing that if he used the phrase incorrectly, it was still correct. On a practical level, blogs are no place for lessons in linguistic prescription and by no means are they a source of lingu franca. Therefore, I find it completely acceptable for bloggers to use the vernacular definition of the phrase, which has been widely used as an equivalent to "invites the question," even if it means throwing out prescriptive rules and embracing description. Either way, it should stand as Corbin originally wrote it.
"At the risk of starting a war of Prescriptive Grammarians,..."
I don't think a war between any kind of grammarians is much of a risk. What are they going to do, hurl dangling participles at each other?
'Innocent passers-by, beware of stray erasers and ballistic subordinate clauses. You are in a war zone!'
Remind me, Zac. What did you study in college?
But I have given this some thought since my original correction. I do not take issue with the desire to use phrases and words 'correctly'. I usually try to stay on the educated side of the language divide. That being said, language is always changing and evolving. No matter how much of a purist you are, you're not going to talk like Beowulf. So the fact that the author of the BTQ page is putting up such a fight over the evolved usage of the phrase is a bit silly. He claims that it would be a shame if logic and philosophy lost 'BTQ' as an important conceptual label. Forsooth, methinks logic and philosophy should be able to evolve, adapt, and develop new labels like the rest of society.
To paraphrase, if it's too vernacular, you're too old.
But I will still resist the incorrect usage in the future, especially in job interviews for professor of philosophy positions.
The Grammarians I know can assasinate Ninja or Pirate with a flick of the pen. There is some quote that seems appropriate here, but I can't quite put the tip of my quill on it.
"in Thai" [yes, a lot of my language-related stories start out that way] there are different forms of language depending on whom you are addressing. they use different words and even different setup of grammar, to the point that the same phrase spoken to the king and spoken [e.g.] in the 'hood are completely unrecognizable one to the other. Thais literally have to learn the correct situational language. English is the same way only like so many other things it is an unspoken rule. who really cares about the correct usage of "begs the question"? it means whatever the speaker intends it to mean. but i agree, if you're in a job interview, or talking to this fellow Hot Cup, you do constant self-checking. i like to think of it as beating them at their own game. this comment is heartfelt because i am a copy editor and deal with this shiz all the effing time. it isn't often i stumble upon my friends having grammar discussions in the blogs and nets. keep em coming yo.
I used up all of my big words in the thingy before this thingy, so if you be wantin to do more of that talk thingy with letter thingies about how to talk and things, then you best be lookin at some other thingy.
I truly believe that we have reached the point where technology has become one with our lives, and I am fairly confident when I say that we have passed the point of no return in our relationship with technology.
I don't mean this in a bad way, of course! Societal concerns aside... I just hope that as memory becomes cheaper, the possibility of uploading our brains onto a digital medium becomes a true reality. It's a fantasy that I dream about every once in a while.
(Posted on Nintendo DS running [url=http://kwstar88.zoomshare.com/2.shtml]r4i ds[/url] DS SurfV3)
Go ahead. It's only 2¢.