My balcony is not filling the measure of its creation

I was reading in Alma, chapters 40 and 41 this morning. These chapters are all about the resurrection and how good will be restored to that which is good, evil to that which is evil. Light to that which seeketh light, and darkness to that which seeketh darkness. I am pretty sure my balcony will be condemned to outer darkness come judgment day.

I have a tender basil plant. She struggles so valiantly against the tide of darkness. Her wilting, yellowed leaves strive upward toward that light which is the source of all life. And yet, she is losing the battle. My balcony is intent upon keeping her in the shadows. He cruelly allows her a few moments of light in the morning, but only if she is precariously perched on the very corner of the railing. In this position, she is very likely to tumble to the ground, 20 feet below, with the passing of any gentle gust. She has already taken one such fall, and her health has never fully recovered. I am convinced this is all part of my balcony's devious plan to rid our house of fresh basil. Sweet Basil's relative was killed a few months ago with this same deadly combination of darkness and drops.

If what Alma preaches is true, my balcony will surely have darkness restored unto it at the great and terrible day of judgment. A darkness so pervading that there shall be great wailing and gnashing of rails. I for one, do not feel pity for my balcony. Mercy cannot rob justice. I only hope that they have fresh basil in heaven. Otherwise would it really be?

Scribbler

I found a new toy. It can turn anyone into an artist. I drew this face with it and also our new header (it may not be up long, depending on Alice's approval). [Update: It wasn't up long. Alice said the red swirls looked like blood. So I turned the swirls green and added flowers. She is a much happier Alice. She also likes the juxtaposition of the slightly abrasive title and the gentler graphic. My wife is so smart.] It is called the Scribbler and you can try it out here. Some of you true arteests out there will certainly create more stunning works. But it's fun for all ages!

The creator, Ze Frank, has some other fun interactive toys on his site, but this is my favorite out of the ones I've tried.

Anyway, I have to go. My nanoparticles are done incubating and I have to go and wash them. Time to get out my nanosoap and nanowashcloth. See you all later.

P.S. UCSD Rocks!

Online polls are not a joke.

I am typing this with a gun in one hand and a sword in the other. Why? Because I am very angry. This is my angry face. For all you jokers out there, online polls are not a joke. You cannot simply vote willy nilly just for laughs. I am, of course, referring to the online poll on this very page, featured slightly down and to the right (depending on what side of the computer monitor you are facing). If you will look closely, you will notice that several votes have been cast for 'No, I never vote in online polls'. Think about it, folks! You just did vote in an online poll!!!

This is not a game. Peoples lives and livelihoods are at stake here. How do you think the President of the United States gets elected? That's right. Online polls. And how are TV shows for Thursday night's Must See TV chosen? Again, online polls. And what about guilty/not guilty judgments for moving pedestrian violations? You guessed it. Online polls.

Basically, our entire economic, social, political, and speed dating infrastructures rely on the integrity of online polls. If people start voting untruthfully, then it's a short trip to Anarchy Town. And trust me, you do not want to take a vacation in Anarchy Town. The food is terrible.

Would you sell your integrity for a smile or a laugh? A smile that you will never see and a laugh that you will never hear, because this is the interwebs, not real life? Don't do it. If you do have a change of heart and desire to repent, you can always change your vote. Repentance is why they included that option.

Please, people. Do not play games with Lady Democracy. She is a fickle and jealous lover and she will leave us for The China if we do not treat her right.

*If you had someone else cast your vote for you, thus maintaining your non-voting status, I apologize. You should not have had to read this. But I have a feeling that this post is not ill advised.

I Love My Husband

Since it's Sunday, I think it would be appropriate to share a good family oriented story. This story stars my husband, whom I don't deserve, in the sense that he is way too good for me.

As our faithful bloggers know, my iPod nano was stolen by an OCD thief in the night two weeks ago. It has been a miserable two weeks as I experienced an emotional roller coaster of anger, sadness, frustration, despair, loneliness, pity....I'll save you all from hearing my ranting. I'll wait to share with Papel, he is a good listener.

Since the day it was discovered missing, Corbin has been faithfully searching Craigslist for my iPod. This week he thought he had found it. He had emailed several people one day asking for more details on the iPods they had listed for sale. One of these people responded to Corbin. Their name is foreign so I will spell it like it sounds: "A Home Molester." The email correspondence with this gentleman (so we will call him) was odd. Corbin would ask a couple of questions in his email and the gentleman would only respond to one and only partly. This correspondence continued several times with the same sort of incomplete response. At last Corbin thought he figured out why he was not getting complete answers. It was me!

Corbin thought I had placed a fake ad on Craigslist for an iPod to ensnare him. In Corbin's defense, this wouldn't be the first time I faked an online personality. When we were dating, I created a fake person on an online LDS dating service and stalked Corbin's fake person. The impersonation was soon seen through and we had a good time pretending to trick each other. So Corbin thought he had figured me out. So he wrote an email to this gentleman that said, "Ha ha ha. You're so funny and smart. I had a feeling it was you. I love you." Well, it wasn't me and the gentleman "A Home Molester" really exists and received my love note.

Somehow, this come on didn't deter "A Home Molester" from selling the iPod to Corbin. The gentleman sold him a 4GB Nano for $80. So Corbin is giving up finding my iPod and we've settled on this used one. I didn't realize how much I missed my one electronic device that had included me in the iPod revolution.

My dear husband spent countless hours searching for an iPod for me and even made a pass at another guy to get me one. This is true love.

Musical Chairs is Not Just for Children Anymore

On Friday my company, ProFlowers, kicked off it's employee appreciation week with a BBQ and musical chairs. Yes, musical chairs is not just a party game for 5 year olds, it's also for working professionals and executives. It is an amazing show watching IT nerds, customer service chatty Cathy's, and number crunching analysts battle it out for the title of musical chair champ and $100. This year I found myself being summoned by our CEO to join in the girl's competition. I didn't want to play since girls are mean but as the music started to play, I found myself actually competing and pushing other women out of the way to ensure I captured a seat. I didn't win but I was able to walk away with fairly sore sit bones.

This is just a small example of why I probably have the best job of anyone who reads this. My job does require real effort, but I don't like jobs that you just sit around. One of my least favorite summer positions involved me watching tv in the conference room literally all day because I had no work to do. Some may say, "Awesome! Where did you work and how do I get hired?" I'm not telling because you slackers that want this job definitely need a back breaking job to put you straight. I don't want you ending up on the street dealing crack.

The San Diego magazine rated ProFlowers as one of the best in the city to work for. Below is a list of reasons why I think it was rated so well in no particular order:

*Free lunch every Tuesday from a different restaurant - Corbin is very envious of this perk. Often I get free lunch on other days of the week as well, especially during holidays when we work 12-14 hour days.
*Laid back working environment - you can wear flip flops and shorts or a suit if you want.
*Open door policy with everyone - no matter what your rank in the company, everyone works together
*Innovative mindset - everyone I work with are serious geniuses, which makes me wonder why they hired me. They are open to any suggestion you have for improvement.
*Holiday thank yous - following Mother's day, the company reserved an entire theater to see Pirates of the Caribbean. Everyone in the company plus whomever you wanted got to go. We also got popcorn and drinks.
*Bonuses! What more can I say?
*Parties - we have a summer and a holiday party. Lots of prizes are given out like electronics, money, and vacations. At our summer party I won $250.
*Employee appreciation activities - We have a week's worth of activities. This year we are seeing a movie at lunch (last year we watched a few episodes of the office), playing musical chairs during a BBQ, going to the Del Mar race tracks, going go kart racing, and attending a Padre's game (which we can bring family).

*Free flowers. I love this perk a lot. Just this week I learned how to arrange short stem flower bouquets and brought home two bouquets. I've included a picture of the flowers I arranged to enhance the jealousy factor I hope to instill in each of you.

Post some of the good/fun things about your job. I'd particularly enjoy hearing about the frustrations you have, that while not funny in the moment, are entertaining after the fact.